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…•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♥ Finding Joy…

A New Way to See Yourself

looking_mirror_220x312There’s a moment when a friendship is deepening that a face changes before your eyes. It feels like a kind of shimmer, as if a veil has dropped away, and you can suddenly see the face behind the face of the person you’re getting to know. If you spoke a language like French, it would be the moment you moved from formal to familiar, from vous to tu. Whatever language you speak, it’s the moment when the person before you, and the connection between you, becomes more real.

It’s a moment I’ve always loved. But the sad thing is, I can’t seem to get to it with myself. No matter how often I’ve seen my own face in the mirror or in photographs, I always approach it with the gaze of a stranger—a suspicious stranger. Or, worse, I approach it from the absolute opposite end of the spectrum, as if in the very moment when a close connection shatters. It’s the sort of moment one writer so chillingly captured in a passage I read years ago and have never forgotten: A man is having tea with the woman he has passionately loved for quite some time. She lifts a teacup to her lips, makes a slight smacking sound—and suddenly he finds her unbearably coarse and common, drained of any redeemable features. There’s something particularly bitter about such moments, a quality of betrayal: Someone for whom we had such hopes has turned into an object of disgust. Isn’t it true that, on really bad days—and perhaps especially as we get older—many of us look at ourselves this way?

Just the other day, I was having a cup of tea with a friend when I looked up and noticed a photograph of me on her kitchen bulletin board. The moment I saw it, I could feel myself recoil. It’s a photograph in which I am outside in the full sun, my eyes crinkled tight and my cheeks about to burst in a fit of laughter.

“Why on earth do you have to display that hideous picture of me?” I asked. “It makes me look like a squirrel with mumps.”

Irrational as it was, I actually did feel as though she must have put the photograph there with the intention of humiliating me.

“It isn’t hideous,” she said—and now it was her turn to sound hurt. “When you laugh, you have a way of losing yourself in the laughter. And that’s something I’ve always loved about you.”

Her words made me see something I’d never seen before. I saw that, in blurting out my dislike for the photograph, I had rejected a gesture of affection: as though I’d tossed away a gift, or turned up my nose at a gracious invitation. Even more than that, I had invalidated the moment we’d long ago passed through together, the moment our friendship deepened, when the social veil dropped and our connection became more real.

Suddenly it struck me that several of my close friends kept, somewhere in their houses, an image of me dissolving in laughter. I’ve always preferred a rather wistful, pensive image of myself. Now, for the first time, I let it sink in that maybe my friends appreciated something about me that didn’t penetrate my self-critical radar. As I’ve begun to ask other women about their ability to see themselves, I’ve heard the sound of this “if only” again and again. Just the other day, I heard it in my aunt’s voice when I showed her the photograph of herself that I had come across in a box of old treasures. “Gosh, I was pretty then,” she said. She and I looked a few moments at the long wavy hair and dark doe eyes of the young woman she had been—and then she thrust the photograph back in the box. “I really had no idea. My three best friends were classic beauties, and I always compared myself with them.”  Find article here

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November 14, 2009 Posted by | Bodywise, Love That!, Magic Bullets, Mindwise, Staying Hip For Life! | , | Leave a comment

Hair day today…

New color for my hair, getting ready for the Health And Fitness Summitt sponsored by NextFit on Oct 9th and 10th… Yippppheee…
Photo 30

October 1, 2009 Posted by | Bodywise, Fabulous Body, Love That! | Leave a comment

Every young girl should watch this!!!

“Women have such a distorted version of what we all “think” beauty is.’
Shannon..
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this really was mandatory for teenage girls to watch to pass health or something! It should be. What are your thoughts? Have you ever seen anything like this before? true words spoken by a good friend Shannon… You can follow her blog at
The fabFatties

October 1, 2009 Posted by | Bodywise, Fabulous Body, Love That! | Leave a comment

According to Health.com

It’s all about alcohol, exercise, the scale, self exams and mammograms.
breast-cancer-awareness Tip number one is think before you drink. Turns out drinking alcohol can increase your risks of breast cancer. For best breast health you have to limit libations. 2 to 3 alcoholic beverages a week are ok. Anything more increases your risk. Continue to Tip Number 2

September 30, 2009 Posted by | Bodywise, Fabulous Body, In The News, Staying Hip For Life! | , , , , , , | 7 Comments

How To Get a Quality Massage For $2.50

It’s no surprise that your body will be a bit sore and achy after a few hard workout sessions. I’m often asked by my clients when the soreness will go away. If you don’t do anything it’ll probably take a good 3-4 days to fully recuperate. But if you’re the type of person who doesn’t like to sit around and be sore all day long then check out this amazing fitness tool.

Foam rollers are similar to pool noodles (those long colorful things kids use to float in the water with) but a bit bigger in diameter, vary in length and size.
I have one of these and I love it… Check it outfoamroller1

September 16, 2009 Posted by | Bodywise, Fabulous Body, Love That!, Products, Staying Hip For Life! | , , , , | Leave a comment